I wanted to share a letter from me to my sister.  Why?  We all deal with challenges in our lives differently.  I thought that I could pay tribute to Kate, but also show that how we experience life is completely in our hands.  Kate has shown me this many many times.  It doesn’t matter how good or bad the news is, we have a choice.   

My yoga practice has given me the gift of handling unwanted change gracefully.  This does not mean that I don’t experience emotions like sadness, anger, or frustration, but I can let it run through me and maintain a level head.  This is not unique to me, we all have the ability to get to this place through consistent practice.

Dear Kate,

I knew from the time when we were young that we would always be as close as a brother and sister could be.  Not!  Remember how I used to torture you when we were kids?  You would be practicing piano and I would turn the T.V. up as loud as it would go.  Or, you wouldn’t want me to touch you so I would hold my finger an inch away from you and continuously say how I wasn’t touching you.  Remember how you would leave notes for mom saying what I did and I used to get punished.  My favorite was when we were chasing each other around the house, you pushed me over the coffee table, and I got stuck between the couch and the coffee table.  My only weapon was the apple I had in my hand, which I threw at you with all of my might. 

We obviously had so much love for each other in those years.  Things certainly changed for the better when you went to junior high and high school.  In fact, I’m not sure how high school would have been for me if you weren’t there.  I showed up on my first day and already had a group of friends who were juniors.  How cool was I?  Not really that cool, but I felt cool and it made my transition so easy.  You always looked out for me and I felt that.  I was never the uncool freshman or sophomore, I was Benny, your favorite little brother.

Then, we parted ways, sort of, when you went to Boston University.  I knew it was the best thing for you, but I missed my big (tough) sister.  When mom got really ill during your college years you used to come home almost every weekend to take care of me and mom.  I remember you doing everything from paying bills to grocery shopping.  This was in addition to being in the top sports medicine program in the country and getting exceptional grades.  That was the time when I started to realize how amazing you were.  How did you juggle it all without blinking an eye?  I don’t ever remember you complaining, you just did it.

You then started a family and brought the most amazing gift into this world.  Your daughter, Victoria.  If it wasn’t enough to witness all of the lives you had touched through personal training, life coaching, and just being you, Victoria was/is just more proof of who you are.  She is precious.  She has the innocence of a child, but interacting with her you would think she is an adult.  You can see that your other-worldly strength has been passed to that little bundle of sweetness.  She handles all of the challenges that have come her way with the same ease that you do and that is another testament to who you are.

You inspire me and so many others.  You have shown me the strongest example of non-attachment that I have seen in anyone that I know.  You used to love going to yoga classes a few times a week.  That hasn’t been possible for awhile now, so what do you do?  You don’t complain you just meditate more or focus on what you can do.  I could go on and on singing your praises and I will. 

Whether I have a few more weeks with you or fifty years, I will enjoy every moment.  I know that if you leave this body, your soul will carry on to finish the work that you are here to do.

Lastly, thank you.  The world has blessed me to have the most amazing sister.  One who leads by example, gives selflessly, and handles everything with ease.  As I said to mom many years ago and I will say it to you now, my hope is that I can touch a fraction of the people that you have touched and continue to touch. 

I love you more than you can know,
Benny

We are taught early on that a successful relationship is one that lasts forever.  Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but nothing is forever.  The sooner we embrace this law of impermanence the sooner we will reduce our suffering.  A successful relationship is one that we learned and grew in.  Why?  Building relationships requires a certain skill set and in order to develop these skills we have to practice.  We learn to communicate, compromise, support, define our beliefs, and many other things.  Also, if a relationship has a rough ending, that still doesn’t mean it wasn’t successful.

If we constantly look at our past relationships and what went wrong or what we could have done differently, we may never have the clarity to see the relationship we really desire.  Rather, look at what it is that you bring to the table.  If you were preparing for a job interview you would know your value and you would show your potential employer that value.  What if we took a similar approach in our relationships?  Now, I know these are two very different situations, but we can use some of the same principles.

Do you hear how you talk about yourself?  This is a key component.  I have heard people say things like, ” There aren’t any good guys out there”, or, ” I never meet anyone that is right for me.”  Is it surprising that this person keeps attracting men who aren’t right for her or don’t treat her well?  We must look inside if we are ever going to change our external experience.  Repeat that last sentence to yourself 108 times!  It is that important.  Our external experience is a mirror of our internal experience.  If your life is not going the way you want it to, then YOU need to change.

In summary, realize what you have to offer someone in a relationship, change the way you talk about yourself to have more uplifting energy, and lastly think about the core values that would make a successful relationship.

Blessings,

Ben

Underground Studios

The reason I’m writing is to share a story from my trip.  A few weeks ago, I had a meeting with some other Lululemon ambassadors and staff about how we can enhance our community on a larger scale.  There were lots of great ideas discussed, but what kept coming to me was that if we just do a little bit more individually each day, we will enhance the community as a whole.

Last night I was returning my rental car and as I looked around for a gas station I stumbled upon a Circle K.  I always laugh when I see a Circle K and if any of you remember Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure you probably do too.  Anyway, I pulled into the Circle K to get gas and a young man approached me asking for change.  I didn’t have any and so he walked away and stood by the store.  As I was pumping gas I thought about the Lululemon meeting.  I walked in the store to get a snack I thought that maybe he was hungry.  I decided that the right thing to do was to buy him some food.  When I gave the man the food he looked somewhat surprised and softly thanked me.  He then left the gas station which made me think that he really was just hungry.

Any time we can help someone it feels good, and I did feel good about my action.  My purpose in sharing is not to shed light on something I did.  The bigger picture is that that small deed could have a very positive ripple effect.  What if we all did a small action to help someone each day?  I’m certainly not the first to suggest this, but isn’t it a good reminder?  We get so caught up in our story that we forget to see what’s going on around us.  Let go of the story and help someone out.  It will bring healing to you, the person you help, and everyone they have contact with.

Blessings,
Ben

Check out our new videos on the website under the video tab.

Do you or someone you know find yoga too challenging?  Are you interested in a system that can help you heal your own body?  Would you like a modality that will compliment and enhance your yoga practice?

Qi Gong is a healing art that is thousands of years old.  You use breath, visualization, movement, and meditation to heal your own body.

On Saturday November 19th, I will give a free workshop on Qi Gong movements, breath, visualization, meditation, and Taoist alchemy.  Space is very limited so email Ben to reserve your spot today.  Anyone is welcome to attend this event.

Place: Underground Studios

Date: Saturday November 19th

Time: 3pm to 5pm

Cost: Free

When we were visiting Kate she shared something really profound.  She said, “Benny, I’m going to stop working and focus on taking care of my own needs.”  It was a moment where the heavens opened up and the hallelujah chorus began to play.  Well, actually my internal response was, “about f****ing time.”  I smiled because I knew she had finally stopped.  Remember how I mentioned that Kate has been fighting for a few years, well she stopped fighting yesterday.  It was quite beautiful to witness.

How many of us fight something every day?  What if we surrendered instead?  Surrender is very different from giving up.  Kate’s plan is to meditate, cook for herself, and write among other things.  Her plan is about bringing energy in and no longer pushing it out.

As we talked more about the upcoming months she asked if I thought reading The Four Desires would be worthwhile for her at this point.  I thought about it and we talked a bit more.  She mentioned that she wasn’t sure what her purpose is.  That’s it!  What could be more important than Kate finding her purpose?  Could this be where the healing lies for her?  Do I believe that if Kate finds her purpose then her cancer will suddenly leave and she will live the next fifty years healthy and cancer free?  I believe that it is possible.

You see there is no other path to contentment and true health.  Unless we find our Dharma (purpose), there is no fulfillment.  Nothing else on a material or spiritual level matters until you find your destiny.

Maybe this sounds like a push to read this book, but I see people every day who are not content and if they just took two weeks to read the book and do the exercises in it they would at least uncover something they didn’t know about themselves.  I would go as far as to say it would change their life.

One of the hardest parts of being a teacher is to know the joy that your students could have if they just changed a few things.  The greatest joy is to see a student uncover what they really need and move in that direction.  My sister is not my student, but I felt great joy seeing her uncover her healing process.

Lastly, each morning I end my meditation by seeing Kate’s spine full of white light.  It’s my way of sending healing energy her way.  If you have a moment, send Kate and others you know who need it some healing energy.  You might be surprised by how that simple act will bring you some healing.

Blessings,
Ben

Underground Studios

What I found intriguing is that we have done a 180 degree turn with 85% of students being women now.  So where are the men?  I was introduced to yoga by my sister and I see many men finding yoga through a female friend or partner.  Can we come to the conclusion that unless we know a female who is practicing yoga, us guys have no chance?

I have talked to several men about yoga and there have been many different reasons that they haven’t tried or won’t try yoga.  Maybe they are just excuses and not reasons at all.  I hear things like I can’t touch my toes, or that yoga is for women, or that it won’t be challenging enough.  It seems as though there is a lot of fear to overcome just to get to your first class.  Why?  Well, the hardest part of yoga is not holding a pose, or breathing, or meditating.  The most challenging aspect of yoga is the part where you have to look at yourself honestly and see who and what you are at this moment.  This is not specific to any gender, but all of us who have or want to start a yoga practice.

Most of us have lofty expectations of ourselves and if we continue to use self-deprecating humor and ignore what we have become, then we don’t have to address the fact that we aren’t where we want to be.  Do we need a life altering event to take a good clear look at ourselves?

Now, back to the men.  I have been fortunate to see more and more men coming to classes.  I also see that these students aren’t just coming to class and leaving, but they are interested in seeing how yoga can touch all aspects of their lives.  Again, it doesn’t matter what your gender is, yoga can and will have a positive impact on all things in your life if you will allow it.

In the spirit of the documentary, YogaWoman, I would offer this challenge to the women.  Bring a friend or your partner to a yoga class.  Don’t let them tell you that they don’t have time, or they are too busy, or that yoga is for women, or any other excuse.  You might consider sharing how yoga has touched your life to give them more information other than that they will stretch their hamstrings.

Blessings,
Ben

Underground Studios

It seems that the fall is making a quick appearance and summer is making a quick exit. It is funny how it feels like we are all going back to school in a way even if we aren’t in school. How are you handling the transition? Times of transition can be so much easier if we don’t abandon our self-care. We all have ten minutes to devote to our self-care. In order to get through transitions smoothly we just need to get better at time management. If you feel like there is no time for you right now, write down what you do every hour today and see where you can fit in that ten minutes to take care of your needs.

I thought I would share my experience at my yearly physical this week. I’ll save the message for after the story. I went to a new doctor this week and was hopeful that I would meet a doctor that I could connect with. My appointment started with the nurse bringing me over to the scale and weighing me and taking a height measurement. I thought, “This isn’t fair my clothes weigh at least 4 or 5 lbs.” It doesn’t really matter, but that was the thought. I was then led in to an exam room where the nurse instructed me to put on a johnny with the back open. Here enters Mr. Discomfort. I thought, “You want me to put that thing on? Seriously? Is this a hospital?” It’s quite obvious that doctors, hospitals, etc. aren’t really my cup of tea. As I sat waiting for the doctor I fiddled with the strings on the johnny wondering if I should even bother tying it, did I need to have a physical, was this doctor going to be any different than my last doctor, and other interesting things.

After about ten minutes the doctor entered and she began going through the usual list of family history, my history, lifestyle, etc. Then, we get to my weight. She said, “It’s nothing to stress about, but your BMI is a little high and with heart disease in your family you could lose a few pounds.” This is the exact thing that my last doctor said and to be honest it was very disappointing. To give you more background: BMI is a calculation of weight and height. I am 6’1″ and 195lbs (199 that day with clothes). There is no calculation of muscle mass or body fat. So, by the BMI standard I am obese. I acknowledged what the doctor suggested and I said that my body fat was about 15% to which she barely responded. (Body Fat under 20% for males my age is very healthy) Another interesting experience with Western medicine.

What’s the message here? I will say that overall I liked my new doctor, but it reinforced my belief that we must be fully responsible for our own health. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t look to doctors and medicine when we need it, but the best cure is prevention. I am grateful for all of the self care tools I have at my disposal and it’s fulfilling to be able to share these with others. At the same time, it’s frustrating to think of all of the people who aren’t aware of the many self care tools we have available.

What else? Well, if someone went to their doctor and the doctor simply said, “you need to lose weight.” The patient now has this pressure of losing weight. What if this person doesn’t want to lose weight? What if they are unsure of how to lose weight? I see more and more people every week that tell me they need to lose weight. While this may be true, that isn’t where I like to start with someone. What if instead of trying to lose weight we tried to shift our energetic landscape. What does that mean?

According to the Tantric yogis, your energetic landscape determines how you experience life. I can attest to the fact that when I manage my energy more effectively, my days are better. Just think about your best days. What makes them your best days? Most likely it’s that your energy is different. Maybe you were more rested, or had a smaller list of things to do, or you practiced yoga, or you meditated.

I share with clients that if we can accumulate tools to manage our energy, then the end result will be making better choices and that means eating better. There is your weight loss program. I’ve seen too many people try and beat the calories out of themselves and while that may work in the short term the weight usually ends up right where it started.

In summary, Johnny’s are awkward, BMI is bogus, commit to self care, and understand that your experience of life is due to your energetic landscape and not due to some external object or situation.

Blessings,
Ben

Underground Studios

Blessings,
Ben

This all sounds lovely, but how do we do it?  There are many ways to build Tapas.  Proper sequencing of poses, pranayama, and meditation are just a few ways to build it.  We should understand that the Tapas referred to in the teachings does not mean turning the heat up to 90 degrees.  This isn’t to say that heated yoga doesn’t have benefits, but we need to be clear on the teachings.

How do I know if I am building Tapas and in turn Tejas?  When your friends, family, peers, and others start asking you if you are doing something different or that you look different.  That is Tejas!  Embrace it and build it and be the brightest light that you can be.

Hari Om,

Ben

Underground Studios

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Dear Friends ~

I’m writing to invite you to a special benefit yoga class I’ll be teaching on Sunday September 11 530pm – 645pm at Underground Studios

. As some of you know, I have spent the last few months training for the 2011 Chicago Marathon which will be held on October 9. This is the first marathon I have ever trained for and I’m doing so for a cause that is very dear to my heart.

Three years ago, my younger cousin Tommy was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Since a portion of the tumor is located on the brainstem, it is not possible to surgically remove the entire mass. This means that he has spent the last few years undergoing intensive treatments of chemotherapy, steroids, and other cancer stabilizing regimens. Throughout it all, he has maintained a drive and sense of humor that continues to inspire me as well as all who know and love him.

Tommy is an active member of the American Brain Tumor Association (ABTA), having organized teams for the 2010 and 2011 Path to Progress 5K events held in Chicago. I joined the ABTA Marathon team in May and the money I am raising will help finance the research and patient/family support programs of this worthwhile organization.

Donations collected from the yoga class will be submitted under the name ‘Underground Studios Community’. Our generous teacher and friend, Ben, has already donated from ‘Underground Studios’, so the new name will distinguish the two. You are welcome to view my personal ABTA page:

Jule’s Page

Thanks to my charitable friends and family, I have already reached the minimum required fundraising amount of $1200. My goal is to raise a total of $3000 by the September 15 deadline.

To participate in the class, I gratefully request a minimum donation of $10.  If you are unable to attend but would like to contribute, please seal your donation in an envelope (don’t forget to include your name!) and leave it with one of the teachers in the studio office. Thank you for your support, and I’ll see you in class!

Namaste ~

Jules

Weekend 1

Everything Asana- This weekend will focus on sequencing, the energetic effects of poses, how to use Bandhas to enhance asana, breath work to shift the outcome of a practice, and the general outline to a safe practice.

Weekend 2

Philosophy, Meditation, and Pranayama- Here we will focus on The Yoga Sutras and The Bhagavad Ghita and how we can apply them to asana, meditation, pranayama, and our lives.

Weekend 3

Yoga for Self Care and understanding your purpose (Dharma)- Here will will tie together the different elements of yoga to manage ourselves.  This will include asana, pranayama, meditation, yoga nidra, and understanding our purpose.

There will be an information session on Sunday September 11th at 1230.  Email info@bostonundergroundstudios.com to sign up.